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Friday, September 28, 2012

Review: 'Borderlands 2' - Rakks on Rakks on Rakks

What happens when you take a cult classic, spend three years developing it, add in an assortment of pop culture references, and top it off with a villain named Handsome Jack?

You create what could easily be one of the greatest first-person shooters of all-time in Borderlands 2.


Borderlands 2 is one of those rare games that deserves a perfect rating. There is so much attention to detail that to give it anything less would simply be unfair. Everything from the story to the obscure pop culture references beams with personality and thought. Borderlands 2 is much more than a video game. It's an experience. An experience that won't soon be forgotten and demands attention.

If you were one of the four and a half million gamers that purchased the original Borderlands, the sequel will be a familiar sight. If you haven't played it yet then you're a complete bonerfart that barely deserves to be breathing. Okay, I may have taken that too far.

You are however still a bonerfart.

Borderlands 2 takes everything that was great about the original and improves on them. The characters, story, dialogue, graphics, environments, and pop culture references are a substantial step above its predecessor. It feels like every time I turn around I am slapped in the weiner with another hilarious detail. 

Just last night for example I stood on a rock staring into the distance while Claptrap became emotional over the sighting of a double rainbow. This wasn't part of the story, nor was it hinted at - I just happened to be standing on this rock at this exact right time to find this.


Look, here's the thing about Borderlands 2 - it's epic. The weapons are not only responsive and fun to fire off, they are creative and brilliantly crafted. One moment you'll find yourself launching corrosive rockets at a few skags, the next you're firing off fire-soaked rounds from your recently discovered shotgun. There's also not a better feeling in gaming than no scoping an enemy and unlocking a challenge titled "No Scope, No Problem".

Then there's the Challenges. Oh the Challenges. Almost every action in Borderlands 2 unlocks Challenges. Whether it's destroying piles of rubble with your fists, running over enemies via powerslide, or gaining massive critical hits with every weapon, you'll be rewarded. These Challenges then unlock Badass Points which you can spend on Attributes that branch across your entire profile. This means that every character you ever play as will receive these rewards.

If that doesn't increase the replay value I don't know what does.

Even beyond the aforementioned aspects Borderlands 2 manages to be flawless. Gearbox Software has somehow taken what is perfect about every genre and combined them. The constant need to find the strongest weapon circa Diablo. The witty character dialogue and interactions inspired by Portal. The gun mechanics that even games like Call of Duty can't seem to master. Everything found in Borderlands 2 is done beautifully.

A touch that even Bob Ross could never master.


I'm going to make this simple for you. Go buy Borderlands 2 and fall in love. It's full of life in every little detail. If for some odd reason you don't like Borderlands 2, I'm going to assume you don't have a soul and most likely hate puppies as well. In which case you're an asshat.

So what's it going to be? Either love Borderlands 2 or be an asshat. Ball is in your court now amigo.
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